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Sunday 1 April 2012

News From Bromham - Headlines on Sunday 1st April

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – 1st April 2012

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
·       Unprecedented scenes were witnessed in Bromham High Street, with lines snaking around the corner, as shoppers queued for dwindling supplies of sprouting broccoli.  Panic-buying set in on Wednesday after farm-workers announced that they had voted for industrial action, possibly over Easter.  Parish Councillors fell over themselves to reassure the public that there are currently no threats to sprouting broccoli supplies, but that people should take “sensible measures” to stock up on their vegetables whenever they had the opportunity, or even storing a few stalks in sheds and garages.  Customers were being restricted to five stalks of broccoli each.

·       Events were complicated when news of the new hot pasty tax spread around the village.  A certain amount of pushing and shoving was witnessed in the Saloon Bar of the Wounded Ferret, as customers insisted on waiting for their pasties to cool to the bar’s ambient temperature before paying for their food.  Landlady Eileen Dover had offered to serve all food cold in the first place, but customers seemed to prefer to watch it cool slowly, fascinated by the sight of escaping steam.

·       George Galling-Allday won a surprise victory in the Bromham by-election to the Parish Council in the lower Hawkstreet ward.  He polled almost 14 votes, winning by a majority of 8 votes over the more established Field Land-Owners’ Party (FLOP) and Carrot-Rooters’ Action Party (CRAP).  The Workers’ Horticultural Organisation (WHO) candidate lost his deposit.  Galling-Allday campaigned on a simple platform of local issues – freedom for the Seend Separatists, unsegregated coat-hooks in the church vestry, and an end to muck-spreading on Sundays.

·         For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012

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