Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
· Police in Seend have arrested a Bromham farmer who was on the run with a consignment of unripe aubergines. The aubergines, although still immature, were said to be in good condition. The farmer had been caught on CCTV holding one of the aubergines as he crossed the border into Seend last Sunday night. It is not thought that he will oppose extradition proceedings.
· In a last-ditch action in the High Court in Trowbridge, radical Bromham cleric Abu Piglet has been granted an injunction which prevents him from paying for his round at The Wounded Ferret. Piglet has been fighting this action for nearly eight years through a series of increasingly desperate legal moves. The Bromham Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) was forced to apologise to the head of the Parish Council after one of its correspondents unwittingly revealed that, in a secret conversation last year, he had asked why “that pillock Piglet wasn’t forced to buy his round years ago”.
· The leader of the Carrot Rooters’ Action Party (CRAP) Ted Willybanned, in an interview given before the start of his party’s annual conference in the Snug Bar of the Social Centre, said that if he ever came power he would give free sweets to all Bromham children, pensioners would be given free supplies of carrots, and peace and love would reign throughout the parish. Reporters were forced to duck as a flock of Pink Elephants swooped low over the press conference.
· For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012