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Sunday 31 August 2014

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 30th August 2014

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – Sunday 30th August 2014

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:

1.       After 35 years since her last appearance, Katy “Piglet” Bush made her long-anticipated entrance on to the stage in the back bar of The Wounded Ferret to an ecstatic audience of nearly seven people.  Tickets for the little-sought-after gig were snapped up in under seventeen weeks.  One fan, who wished not to be named, had made an emotional journey all the way from Potterne to see the singer.  When questioned closely he admitted that he had not wanted to come at all, but his dad had asked him to turn up to find out if this was the same girl with whom he had once had a knee-trembler with round the back of the barn many years ago.

2.       Following the national celebrity trend sweeping the country, Benny Dogleash, irascible manager of Bromham Casuals, yesterday reluctantly accepted the Ice Bucket Challenge.  Unfortunately, no-one had told the players, led by inconsistent striker Dwayne Mooney, that the ice cubes needed to be taken out of their plastic packets first.  Mr Dogleash suffered multiple abrasions and bruising to his head and, whilst still unconscious, was rushed to Bromham General Hospital’s A&E Unit, where he was forced to wait for several hours to see a doctor.  The waiting area had been packed with several people who had badly injured themselves whilst trying to commit suicide following bouts of depression, after learning that in the past six months, no-one had nominated them for the Ice Bucket Challenge.

3.       For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2014


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