Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 15th March 2015
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. The
presenter of Bromham Broadcasting Corporation’s (BBC) top petrol-head
production “Top Tractor”, Jeremy Piglet, suspended himself yesterday after an
alleged “dust-up” with one of the show’s producers. The spat was said to have been about the lack
of carrots for dinner after a hard day’s filming out in the fields. Piglet, a renowned and committed vegetarian,
was said to have been “tired and emotional” about the lack of root-crops on his
plate. The final three editions of the
programme will not now be broadcast.
2. Media
speculation ran rife in the snug bar of The Wounded Ferret after the leader of
the Carrot-Rooters’ Action Party (CRAP), Ted Willeybanned, was filmed giving an
interview in a shed which was variously described as “bare”, “sparse” and “soulless”,
providing the impression that he too was rather bare, sparse and soulless. However, Willeybanned was able to explain
that in fact it was only his second shed.
He has another larger main shed which he uses more frequently for
shed-based activities. The Field
Land-Owners’ Party (FLOP) accused Willeybanned of being “two sheds short of a
barn”.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2015
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