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Sunday 3 July 2016

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 3rd July 2016

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – Sunday 3rd July 2016
                                             
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
                                                        
1.       Supporters of Bromham Casuals, who were knocked out of the 2016 West Wiltshire Germolene Cup by minnows Heddington, were forced to watch on in amazement as rival local side Melksham Morons, a scratch part-time side who had not played together before, continued to play like heroes and to dump out two other proper teams to reach the semi-final of the competition.  Their shock was compounded when Casuals’ manager Roy ‘Oi’ Bodge-some announced his resignation from the role.  So far there have been no applicants to replace him.

2.       And in Bromham’s own version of Game Of Thrones, the contest for the leadership of the Field Land-Owners’ Party (FLOP) entered new realms of fantasy this week.  Following the decision of Bromham voters to withdraw from Wiltshire (Wexit), FLOP leader Dave Campervan resigned, sparking a vicious internecine war between rival candidates to succeed him.  Several unknowns have declared their hand, but these were upstaged when Boris ‘Bonkers’ Piglet withdrew his name at the eleventh hour, following a severe shafting from his erstwhile campaign manager Michael ‘Specs’Byjove.  As rival candidates stabbed one another in the back, the likely favourite Teresa ‘Low-key’ Green carefully stepped over their twitching, mangled, bloody bodies to claim the reins of power.

3.       For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.


Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2016

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