Health Scare
I was a bit down, not feeling me-self,
with symptoms of tiredness and lassitude,
so I went along for a medical check-up,
and this is what thereafter ensued:
Me examination was thorough,
subjected to all kinds of tests,
not feeling me best,
stood there in me vest,
then sat down, needing a rest.
The doctor took me blood pressure,
looked in me ears and me nose,
felt me all over, right down to me toes -
I had to take off all of me clothes!
Then he took me temperature,
listened with his stethoscope to me chest,
but the part that I enjoyed the best,
was having a quick cough, lest
there be any trouble “down there” I guess.
Now I’d been Googling my condition,
to try and find a diagnosis,
a treatment, and a prognosis,
to see what type of psychosis
might have led to my current neurosis.
It’s funny how your anxiety teases,
and your imagination seizes
upon a large range of possible diseases,
but the doc, with his bedside manner not loth,
and aware of his Hippocratic oath,
looked at me steadily and quoth
that he was terribly keen
for me to know that I had been
the worst case of hypochondria that he’d ever
seen!
Well this verdict pleased me no end!
To know that medical science,
had been held at defiance,
and assured that all of this indicated,
that my condition had been vindicated.
And whilst me health notes he was fingering,
he opined that signs of “malingering”,
might persist and be lingering -
so you see - I’d been quite right to worry!
me heart-beat would scamper and scurry,
me symptoms had me all of a flurry:
no chance I’ll be cured in a hurry!
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