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Wednesday 10 August 2016

View Of A Stranger

View Of A Stranger

It seems indiscreet to peer inside
This blue-bound diary
And read the youthful scribblings
The secret scriptures
Of a young soul seeking
What he thinks is love
Intimate and vulnerable
His tormented, tortured yearnings
Spelled out day by day
In his tight, neat handwriting
In his black and blue biros
Using the cryptic code
That is not difficult to decipher

Snooping through the writing
Prying among the pages
Of this joyless journal
I am struck by his outlook
The black and white world
Of the early Seventies
So short on subtlety
Lacking nuance
The direct and raw emotion
The hurt and the anger
The brutal honesty
Of this callow youth
Only recently a child

I marvel at his motivations
His immature ideas
And his carnal calculations
This rough, strange juvenile
Living in his different world
Thinking ugly thoughts
I could never entertain

I wonder at this person from the past
A ghost from forty years ago
And find it almost impossible
To admit the surprising truth
That I cannot recognise myself


Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2016

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