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Sunday 9 October 2016

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 9th October 2016

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – Sunday 9th October 2016

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
                                                        
1.       One of Bromham’s many celebrities, reality TV star Jim “Car” Crashian, is in shock this week-end as he tries to come to terms with being robbed at gunpoint on Tuesday night.  Masked raiders, whom police think must have been working on an insider tip-off, forced their way into the star’s farm-house and stole vegetables to the tune of several pounds.  “I pleaded with them not to kill me, as I still have a carrot crop in the ground.  They tied me up, locked me in the cow-shed, and made off with valuable brassicas and root crops.”  The star has previously been criticised for flaunting his vegetables on social media.

2.       Meanwhile, the race for the Presidency of the Parish Council continues.  Tonight’s live TV debate is likely to be a hard one for contender Doughball T. Rump, a recent American incomer to the village, who has just been embarrassed by the timely release of a video from 2005, in which he claims to have fondled carrots and parsnips, and got away with it simply because he was a foreigner.  In the video he boasts about groping celery, even though it had already been bought by someone else, and grabbing vegetables by the brassicas.

3.       For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.


Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2016

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