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Thursday 18 May 2017

Land Of The Free

Land Of The Free

I was a great fan of the United States, I just loved their American ways,
So I did the quite obvious thing, and went to the West Coast for my holidays.

To California and Arizona, to discover all that they had to show me,
Then on to the islands of Hawaii, and to the fleshpots of Waikiki.

The mountains, the forests and the deserts, the Pacific and Los Angeles’ nooks,
The Salad Bowl of the continent, Dunkin’ Donuts, McDonalds and Starbucks.

With pancakes, muffins and super-sizing, those yanks sure know how to eat a big meal:
There’s Taco Bell, and then at Burger King “WMD” simply means a “Whopper Meal Deal”.

There’s the Big Mac, slathered in Monterey Jack, tacos, burritos and Mexican food,
There’s Hershey Bars, in candy jars, eat what you want, whatever the mood.

Of course there’s gallons of Coke and of Pepsi, of Coors and Miller, and good old Bud Lite,
Available in sizes up to a bucket, and most of it tastes shite.

In San Francisco I wore some flowers in my hair, Yosemite’s beauty left me beaming.
I enjoyed Uncle Sam, at the old Hoover dam, and I did my share of California dreamin’.

I travelled down freeways and Inter-States, gambled in Vegas, flew The Friendly Skies,
Got plenty of kicks, on Route Sixty-Six, and discovered that chips are called “fries”.

But there’s only so much that one man can take, and Country & Western songs started to pall.
I longed for a pavement, not a sidewalk, and had enough of Cowboys & Indians, y’all!

So I left my heart in San Francisco, had quite enough of “yee ha!” and such manner,
Travelled back home to England, deserted the Star-Spangled Banner.

I’ve had enough of the flag of Old Glory, as in the breeze it slowly unfurls,
I’m back living in our Scepter’d Isle, and want no more of Hula-Hula girls.

I’m done for a while with The Union, and our cousins there over the sea,
I’m finished with ice-hockey and baseball: no more swimming and surfboards for me.

It might be the land of democracy, peopled by every immigrant wave,
But is it still “the land of the free”? and is it truly “the land of the brave”?


Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2017

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