Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 4th August 2019
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
A man from D-Town is celebrating this morning after
winning nearly £20,000, five houses and three hotels, merely by playing a 20th-century
non-computerised board game. A Mr Ron
Seal, of Letsby Avenue in the town, beat nearly three others to win the
prestigious prize, in front of an audience of two. He used his lucky “racing car” token to speed
around the board and to gradually defeat his opponents. He claimed that his victory was due to skill
and aggressive tactics, not merely to Chance or the roll of the dice, and to not
having spent any time in Jail. He
thanked the local Community Chest for helping him.
2.
Meanwhile another man, Mr Terry Dactyl, has claimed a
new Wiltshire record for an attempted crossing of the Crammer without touching
the water. Using only recreational drugs
and a skateboard, he flew the first thirty metres involved whilst completely
spaced out of his mind. When he was arrested
he asked for 30 other offences to be taken into account, and the address of the
nearest rehab clinic.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019
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