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Tuesday 4 February 2020

Bit On The Side


Bit On The Side

I said that I could never do this -
Give myself up to words and waiting, wishes and whispers
Which disappear like mist in the morning
When I awake alone
With the sun rising, poking its light through blinds
Hastily drawn last night

I said that you should not come
Whenever the mood just took you
Leaving her alone with your alibis
And feeble excuses
To sneak your way to me
Turning your key in my lock
To find me always alone, ever-waiting,
Too desperately pleased to see you
Aching for your smile, your touch, your kiss

I said I would not live like this
Sharing short hours of stolen time
Mistress of your hidden desires
Fed by promises, endearments
And guilty late-bought offerings
A life unnaturally discreet
Behind closed doors
A kept pet within a cage
Your plaything, what you will

I said I could not exist alone
Caught between blind hope and cold despair
Bereft at your every going
Angry at each desertion
Hanging on, spoiled but tortured
Our coupling in the early evenings
No longer love nor lust, but only longing
For you to stay with me and stroke my face
And hold me through till morning

I said that I should live a life more normal
And be with you for all of the time
Together every day
Not just when you can steal away
To scramble my feelings
And tangle my bedsheets

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020

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