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Sunday, 22 September 2013

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 22nd September 2013

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – Sunday 22nd September 2013

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:

1.       The outlawed Seend separatist movement launched a daring raid on the shop in Bromham High Street during the week.  The surprise attack was meticulously planned, and caught Bromham’s Security Forces completely off-guard.  The raiders managed to gain access to the rear of the tinned goods section, and briefly held two bottles of milk as hostage, before they were asked to leave the shop.  No-one was seriously hurt in the raid, but Mrs Elsie Piglet claimed later that her arm hard been seriously jogged at one point.

2.       The Party Conference season was getting under way in Bromham this week-end.  The Field Land-Owners’ Party (FLOP) were meeting in the Social Centre, with delegates expected to come from as far afield as the edge of the village.  Meanwhile the Carrot-Rooters’ Action Party (CRAP) were set to convene in the Parish Room, after losing their usual meeting place in the back room of The Wounded Ferret to the upstart United Slackers Industrial Collective Korps (USICK).  Most villagers had, by complete coincidence, chosen this same week-end to go and visit their relatives in Margate or Eastbourne.

3.       For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.


Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013

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