Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 13th November 2016
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. A
near-riot was narrowly averted at the village shop earlier this week when it
was revealed that, due to cost-cutting measures, bunches of carrots were to be
reduced from six carrots to five.
Customers staged sit-in protests and one person chained themselves to
railings before the village bobby was summoned to restore order. Parish Council leader Theresa Green spoke for
everyone when she described the decision by the Carrot Farmers’ Collective to
reduce the bunch-size as another example of modern corporate greed. Villagers
have been travelling as far afield as Melksham in order to stock up with the
old six-carrot bunches.
2. Nigel
Barrage, owner of the village’s fruit-cake stall, has travelled to Trowbridge,
and has become the first Bromham politician to meet with County Leader-Elect
Donald Bumpkin. The two men spoke for
almost seven minutes before Mr Bumpkin found that he had something far more
important to do elsewhere. It is thought
that they may have discussed the future of the Pointless Open Territory & Agricultural
Treaty Organisation (POTATO) defence alliance. Parish Council supreme leaderene
Theresa Green was, strangely, unavailable for comment.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2016
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