Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 8th April 2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Many shops in
D-Town had to close this week due to lack of customers, after the introduction
of the new sugar tax on processed drinks and foods. Owing to the fact that the vast majority of
shops and supermarkets only stock the goods required by the local demographic,
such as Demon Hot Turkey Twizzlers, Supersweet Slush Puppies, Skullcracker
Energy Drink, and Nutrigood Chicken Hobgobs, the shopping areas were virtually
a desert, populated only by zombie-like figures, drooling at the mouth and
demanding to find a source of sugar-fix.
2. And the political heat was raised a further notch
this week as a spokesman for the People’s Democratic Republic of Trowvegas
categorically denied that they had anything to do with sending a “dirty” bus on
Route 49 to D-Town. Meanwhile several
innocent passengers who had boarded the vehicle in the Market Place complained
of getting their clothes grubby and feeling rather unwell on the vehicle’s
journey to Swindon.
3. For details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t
forget to listen to local radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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