Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 15th December 2019
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1. As
the hollow-eyed citizens of D-Town begin to crawl out from beneath the
shattered remnants of the buildings, ditches and ground-holes within which they
had taken cover for the past few weeks, they were greeted by the unwelcome
knowledge that absolutely nothing has changed.
Despite their valiant attempts to shelter from the deathly effects of
the nuclear winter (otherwise known as the general election) of the recent
political campaigns, The Vize continues to live under the Rule of Gammon. All public buildings will be given a fresh
coat of true-blue.
2. And
science has taken further steps forward this week, where new experiments in The
Vize have proved beyond all reasonable doubt that the impossible is, in fact,
possible. Conservative Central Office
fielded a steaming turd as their local candidate, topped by a blue rose, with a
policy promising more wiffle-waffle in our schools, and were amazed to find
that it still managed to get itself elected.
And in the aftermath of this devastating news, the bronze turkey who
heads the local union branch of turkeys has surprisingly come out strongly in
favour of the new regime. “Let’s get
Christmas done!” he is said to have claimed.
His members, in contrast, said that he could go and get stuffed.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019
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