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Sunday, 2 April 2023

Drivel From Devizes - Dateline Sunday 2nd April 2023

Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 2nd April 2023 

Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:                                              

1.      D-Town’s Utility General Holdings (UGH) have finally admitted that they have been discharging raw sewage into the K&A canal.  Apparently they had been doing this for several years without anybody actually noticing, so they hadn’t thought it was even worth mentioning.  It was only when several swans were brought in suffering from bad coughs, together with ducks with shit-stains, and sea-gulls stained a lovely shade of brown. 

2.      D-Town shopkeepers have welcomed recent moves in Artificial Intelligence (AI) as they feel it will assist their customers.  Far from calling for research in AI to be halted the DCC (D-Town Chamber of Commerce) have actually called for the development of greater intelligence.  In new trials, customers will be assisted by a ShopBot in order to buy more than one article at a time (e.g. Pringles, chewing-gum, Lottery scratch-cards and twenty fags), take the basket to the counter and actually pay for the articles.  Over the next year ShopBots are expected to almost completely replace the use of small children in this role. 

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2023

 


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