Independence For Wilsher
Seems the country’s fast falling apart,
And the United Kingdom’s set to rot,
With independence for the Cornishman,
For the Irishman, the Welshman and Scot.
So what about the claims for Wilsher?
The county of white horses and downs,
The shining jewel of South-West England,
The chalk hills and the market towns?
Our claims for EU recognition,
Would be composed of many factors:
We’re much more interesting than Gloucester,
And we’ve got an awful lot more tractors.
So here is my Wilsher manifesto,
To protect all we have in great bounty.
Let’s have belonging, our own identity,
A plea to be a Sovereign County.
We have our own history and landscape,
Our mythology and literature.
We’re a persecuted minority,
But the people are odd – that’s for sure.
Look at Marlborough and Avebury,
Malmesbury Abbey’s beautiful font.
Then there’s Trowbridge and Melksham,
Places that nobody else would want.
But what about Bradford and Salisbury Plain?
Lacock, Castle Combe and Devizes?
And lots of lovely little villages,
Whose names on-one ever recognises?
We’ve got the Great Western Railway,
Legacy of Isambard Kingdom Brunel,
And that corridor, of the bloody M4,
Also known as the Highway to Hell.
There’s our Wilsher Ham and our bacon,
The cheese and the bread, and cider-makers,
And there’s great myths and some weird legends,
Silbury Hill, and the tale of the Moonrakers.
Our patron saint could be - St Michael,
Our flower the burnt orchid, neatly cut,
Our bird must be - the Great Bustard!
And the Vly Be On The Turmut.
Our special sport could be - goat-nadgering,
And on our peculiar accents I’m banking,
To award a new protective status
To the practice of gander-flanking.
From Fosse Way, Ridgeway and Kennet & Avon,
Our great county will have its revenge,
And the roar of the lions at Longleat
Will be heard beyond the site at Stonehenge.
So let’s assert our independence -
Recognition for Wilsher’s the goal!
We should put barricades on the borders,
Impose some form of passport control.
And fair enough to old Cornwall -
What they’ve achieved is all very fine,
But I’m afraid that I’ve got to now -
I’m walking right round the Wilsher coastline!
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