Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 16th August 2015
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. A
Bromham villager, who is now long deceased, has been accused of various
historical sex offences. Ed “Strange-boy”
Piglet was a real village character. Although
born a male to a happily-married carrot-picking family, Ed always insisted that
he was a girl. He insisted on being
known as Edwina, dressed in female attire, played with dolls and would only associate
with girls. As a teenager s/he took up
sewing, knitting and embroidery, refusing all vegetable-picking work out in the
fields, in order to concentrate on cookery and home-making. In a shock announcement, he is now being
investigated by several police forces, after an anonymous complainant accused
him of being a transvestite and cross-dresser.
In other news, the Pope has been accused of being a Catholic, and
several bears have been accused of defecating in the woods.
2. At
the start of a new football season, Bromham Casuals kicked off with their
now-traditional heavy home defeat to local rivals Heddington Headbutters.
Although striker Dwayne Mooney hit the woodwork in the first half, he was given
his usual red card for hitting an opponent in the second half. Irascible manager, Benny Dogleash, tried out
a number of new formations – the diamond, the square, the flat-pack five, and
the park-the-bus – all to no avail as the visitors ran out 7-0 winners. Austrian Grand Prix
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2015
No comments:
Post a Comment