Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday
7th May 2017
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Devizes:
1. The
Bard has left the village! The departure
of the bard for the nearby hell-hole that is Devizes provoked fiercely divided
opinion in the village. Whilst a devoted
body of his acolytes went into deep mourning, weeping and wailing, and
castigating their own bodies in despair and self-loathing, the large majority
of the villagers held bonfire parties and celebrated deep into the night. Large firework displays spelling out the
words “Good Riddance” could be seen illuminating the night sky. Either way – sheep may now safely graze, and
vegetables can sleep soundly in their beds at night.
2. In
the depths of deepest Devizes meanwhile, people gathered in the market-place in
their traditional Sunday ceremony of watching the traffic lights at the
pedestrian crossing turn to amber, then red.
Shortly afterwards, following a harmonic salute, the lights turned both
red and amber, then resumed their normal weekly colouring of green. The crowd slowly dispersed before a few hardy
souls mustered in front of the window of the delicatessen in order to watch the
man in there operate the bacon-slicer.
And who says nothing ever happens in this town?
3.
For
details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station D-Town F-off.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2017
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