Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday
14th May 2017
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Devizes:
1. In
the annual Devize-O-Vision song contest, broadcast live from the Corn Exchange
and Ethel Sidebottom Memorial Banqueting Rooms, the Devizes entry (Boom-Bang-A-Lang-On-A-String)
met its inevitable Waterloo, and came an honourable last. The winning entry from nearby Trowbridge
featured a heavy-metal band dressed in pink feathers and leopard-skin outfits,
singing something in Wiltshire dialect about the perils of travelling on public
transport in a post-apocalyptic world.
The ghost of Terry Wogan was seen moving across the Market Place at
midnight.
2. The
Devizes Cottage Hospital was thrown into chaos after being hit by a
sophisticated cyber attack, possibly masterminded from the remote province of Potterne.
Medical staff were unable to access
patient records when the hospital’s only computer, an early gas-driven model,
had its ventilation system blocked by some form of bug. A sinister message appeared on the screen
saying that the computer was due for its annual service, which would not be
carried out without payment of a “fee” or “bill”. Devizes’ only MP, from the Wiltshire Wailers Party,
was on holiday, and not available for comment.
3.
For
details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station D-Town F-off.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2017
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