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Sunday, 2 July 2017

Drivel From Devizes - Dateline Sunday 2nd July 2017

Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 2nd July 2017

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Devizes:
                                                  
1.      Civic pride was at its highest this week as the new two-man rowing boat was launched for its maiden voyage on The Crammer.  The vessel will be put through rigorous testing and pond-trials over the next two years, by which time it is expected to be already obsolete.  It will be fitted with the latest technology, including oars, a rope and a life-jacket.  However, further details are being withheld, so as not to compromise security.  The boat is expected to be watched carefully by other local civic powers within Wiltshire, and may signal the start of a new cold war.

2.      And howls of protest were heard from opposition parties in the town council when the mayoress announced that she had done a deal with the Devizes Uppity Party (DUP) in order to create a working majority and to cling on to power.  Under the terms of the deal the Northern Devizes ward will receive an additional £10 B&Q voucher, to be spent on home improvements.  Other areas of The Vize said that they would like a £10 B&Q voucher too, and that it was all jolly unfair.  No B&Q spokesperson was available for comment.

3.      For details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station D-Town F-Off.


Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2017

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