Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 9th December
2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
Citizens
in The Vize are slowly coming back to their normal selves after recovering from
nearly 24 hours of trauma on Thursday when the town’s mobile signal was
lost. Mothers were almost forced to talk
to their children, men to their wives and sweethearts and millennials to one
another, when they discovered that their smartphones were rendered
useless. School-children were reported
to be having to pay attention in their lessons for the first time in many
years, and the number of accidents involving people walking into lamp-posts was
almost negligible.
2. And, in further signs
of unrest, the streets were filled with members of da yoof dressed in Hi-Vis
jackets and camouflage trousers. Older people
were confused as whether the protesters wanted to be seen or not. A spokesperson for da yoof, when asked what
they were protesting about, provided the following list of demands: the right
to cycle around the town at night without lights or reflective clothing, the
right to leave discarded pizza cartons in pretty circles around the grass on
The Green, the right not to answer to anyone over 21 when spoken to, and the
right to remain unwashed for long periods of time.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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