Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 26th May 2019
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
In a tearful statement on Friday, her voice cracking
with emotion at the thought of finally escaping to a quieter life and having to
spend more time with her awful husband, Council Leader Lettie Sleef finally
announced the date of her resignation. In
equally tear-jerking and gut-wrenching statements a line of approximately 250
former colleagues reluctantly announced their candidature in the race to
replace her. The Town Hall cat is also thought to have hoined the race. The queue for the political
summit of local politics has now become routine and very crowded, and it is
feared that many will lose their lives, if not their dignity, on either the way
up or the way down the greasy pole.
2.
But in a more positive announcement, a local
entrepreneur, Mr Alf Resco has welcomed the current boisterous round of
politics, and is to expand his facility which manufactures political
projectiles. Up to one extra job may be
created, which is good news for the local economy. “Demand for our 16oz milk-shakes has been
phenomenal, so now we’re introducing 32oz and 48oz bumper sizes, to say nothing
of our new bargain bucket. We now have
something disgusting to fit all sizes of self-serving, venal politician. The containers are re-useable and recyclable,
so you only need to waste the milky confection itself.” Several local dry cleaners have welcomed the
news.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019
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