Search This Blog

Sunday, 2 February 2020

Drivel From Devizes - Dateline Sunday 2nd February 2020


Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 2nd February 2020

Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
                                              
1.      History was made on Friday night at 11pm when D-Town finally seceded from the WU (Wiltshire Union).  Parties and protests were held throughout the borough, but the most sombre ceremonies took place in the Market Place when the Wiltshire flag was formally lowered and burnt, followed by the raising of the D-Town standard (a picture of the Corny Bin, with crossed swords and boxer shorts rampant).  Within the next few weeks the first border control points will come into force, together with the issue of blue passports and the establishment of deportation camps.  Onwards and upwards, what ho!

2.      A specially-chartered bus carrying the first D-Town citizens to escape from disease-riddled town of Trowvegas arrived in the borough late last night under cover of darkness.  Strict security and public health measures were put in place to prevent possible contamination spreading into The Vize, including requiring the victims to drink a whole pint of Wadworth 6X (one of the most antiseptic and taste-free substances known to the world of medicine).  The victims were then taken to one of the town’s Wadworth pubs, which possesses a completely sterile atmosphere, for two weeks’ isolation and monitoring.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020

No comments: