Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 27th December 2020
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. In a totally unexpected last-minute deal, done at the eleventh hour before midnight on Christmas Eve, out of the jaws of victory, by the skin of the teeth etc etc The Vize’s negotiating team has managed to do a trade deal with Wiltshire. Full details are yet to emerge, but key concessions have been made by both sides. D-Town has given up its fishing rights in the K&A canal, accepted quotas for unicorn farming, and agreed to impose sanctions on feral youngsters, whilst Wiltshire has ceded tariffs on the export of commemorative tea-towels, accepted an hourly timetable on the 49 bus-route (Bank Holidays excepted) and agreed to end all controls on the practice of milking chickens. Free movement of citizens between boroughs will only be allowed on Sundays and alternate Mondays.
2. The town, still under Tier 2 Covid restrictions, remains subdued. Citizens were only abroad on Boxing Day to escape house visitors and the threat of more sprout and turkey curry. The usual rush to the sales did not materialise however, as people stayed at home to sit in their underwear and order things online from Amazon whilst sucking the life out of the last mince pie. Even the usual Boxing Day hunt at Lacock took on a thin and grey aspect, once it was revealed that the dog-pack had tested positive for Covid, and most fox families were choosing to stay at home and self-isolate.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020
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