Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 17th January 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Liberal councillors in D-Town have voted to imapple the Lord Mayor (because it was impossible to find any impeaches in the market this Thursday) for political crimes against the town. This is the second time that the mayor has been imfruited after previously being imoranged two years ago for improper conduct in office. His life, however, is not thought to be imberried or impeared in any way.
2. The Chief Constable of The Vize has been reprimanded by…well, everyone really...after admitting that his police force have managed to lose the piece of paper that had the names of suspected criminals written on it. Described as actually looking like the back of a used envelope, the scrap seems to have disappeared when PC69 Terry Fick went to get change out of his pocket whilst buying a cup of takeaway coffee. A search of the bins and the floor at the café have turned up nothing so far. An appeal has gone out for information – if anyone can remember the names of any wrong ‘uns that live down their street, please let your local cop shop know.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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