Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 20th February 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Great joy in D-Town this week as it started to rain money. The son of the woman who lives at the Big House on the High Street has had a change of mind. Instead of facing trial for various offences, including sex-trafficking, lying and possessing an ugly ex-wife, he decided to settle the cases out of court, and to give away large amounts of money, particularly to women he had never met. Speculation on how this largesse will funded has concentrated on his showbiz abilities – looking in two directions at the same time, being in two different places at the same time, inability to sweat and the capacity to eat world-beating amounts of pizza.
2. This joy was tempered, however, by the costs of damage caused by Storm Eunice. After DMO (D-Town Met Office) warnings of high winds and yellow snow, citizens battened down the hatches. At least three wheelie bins were blown over, and a lady from the edge of town had her hair a bit mussed up. A man from the local trade association, Sonny Day, said that shops were delighted however, since their stocks of trampolines, fence panels and roofing slates had actually increased during the storm.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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