Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 4th September 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Great concern is being felt in D-Town for energy security over the coming Winter. Following TrowVegas’ predictable decision to turn off the Lardy Cake supply line for “maintenance”, hasty measures are now being taken to protect existing supplies. Stockpiles of Lardy Cakes at the Council’s depot are said to be at 83%, but a harsh Winter will soon eat into this, and may lead to shortages and even Lardy-outs. People are being encouraged to cut down their consumption of the delicacies in order to preserve stocks, and a register is being compiled of those particularly vulnerable to Lardy Cake shortages (such as the young, the old, the obese and the feckless).
2. Now that the last Bank Holiday and the three hot days of Summer are and done with, it’s all downhill for the rest of the year. Last Night of the Proms, clocks back, Halloween, Bonfire Night and it’s time to crash into the buffers of Crimbo at full speed. Already sales of mega-size boxes of sweets, cakes, puddings, trees and turkeys are occupying the minds of the supermarkets. My own tree is already up – up in the loft, where it belongs until December.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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