Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 11th September 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. A hugely important week in the constitutional life of the town, when it was announced on Thursday that that the lady who lives in the Big House on the Main Street had passed away, surrounded by her loving, but strangely unloveable, family. She is survived by three corgis, two footmen, a maid of the upper chamber and a butler of dubious abilities. Several days of mourning have been declared in the borough, flags lowered to half-mast and Pringles put on sale at half-price. Buses will be decked in black ribbons, and milk-floats will have their bottles muffled as a sign of respect.
2. The lady will be succeeded by her jug-eared eldest son (and his offensive wife), who has already taken up residence in the house, and has begun to make changes. The regular order of skimmed milk has been replaced with an order for organic. Food deliveries will consist of only Duchy Originals. A speech therapist has been engaged to work with the plants in the garden. A Sycophantic Delegation from the Town Council is being organised, and will present itself the the new man in due course.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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