Rogan Josh

Recipe for: CURRY – ROGAN JOSH 

Ingredients: 

• 4 tblsp sunflower oil
• 7 black peppercorns
• 2 black cardamoms
• 5 green cardamoms
• 3 cloves
• 5cm cinnamon stick
• 1 blade mace
• 1 large onion, finely sliced
• 750g lamb/ mutton, cubed
• 6 large cloves garlic, peeled
• 12g fresh ginger, eeled
• 2 tsp ground coriander
• 2 tsp ground cumin
• 1 tsp red chilli powder
• 2 tsp ground fennel
• 1½ tsp garam masala
• Salt to taste
• 2 medium large tomatoes, pureed
• 3 tblsp natural yoghurt
• Handful fresh coriander leaves & stalks, chopped

Method: 

1. heat the oil & fry the whole spices until sizzling
2. add the onion & cook until golden – 8 to 10 minutes
3. add the lamb & stir until coloured all over – 3 minutes
4. meanwhile, using a blender, make a paste of the garlic, ginger & a splash of water
5. add the paste to the pan, lower the heat, and cook for 2 minutes
6. add the powdered spices & salt & stir for 40 seconds
7. add the tomatoes, turn up the heat, and cook until the oil separates from the masala – about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally (add a splash of water if it looks a little dry)
8. add enough water to almost cover the meat, turn the heat right down, and simmer very gently for 35-40 minutes, or until the meat s tender
9. stir in the yoghurt & warm through
10. add the fresh coriander, sir & serve

What else you need to know: 

1. the sauce should be thick & creamy

 

Lost - Have You Seen This Man?

Lost – Have You Seen Him? 

In the Southwark area, quite recently.  One Political Career, not very substantial, but of great emotional value to its owner.  Tagged with a “Liberal Democrat” chip on his shoulder, and collared by the local Constabulary.  Answers to the names of “Hypocrite”, “Speedy” and “Mendacious”. 

Quite friendly until recently, and prepared to appear on radio and TV with very little encouragement, but may now bite the hand that feeds him.  May now be slippery, elusive and fail to respond to being called.  May try and dodge all responsibility whatsoever.

Aged about 58 and in general good health, but suffers from a lack of marital fidelity, and an inability to tell right from wrong.  Has been recently docked, and may now finally come clean. 

Has been spotted around Crown Court, changing his pleas frequently, and in some distress. 

Sometimes seen in the company of “someone close” answering to the name of Vicky, who suffers from a long-standing marital coercion condition. 

 

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013

Dear Diary

Dear Diary

Between the clasped covers

Lay clean, unsullied sheets of white

That she carefully writes upon

In the quiet times at night

When she can sit alone, unwatched

Confiding her floating thoughts

Translating them into mere words

Crystallised upon the page

Yesterday there were anxieties

Worries to be discussed

And a broken heart to be laid bare

In deepest desperation

Trusting in the blank discretion

Of her silent witness

Not to reveal her pain

The nagging ache of love and loss 

Then today there are things that must be said

Confided to her intimate, her familiar

That she cannot tell another living soul

For the fear that secrets will escape

Whispered into the world

And that others may untimely know

Of her inner hopes and dreams 

And tomorrow there will be anger

Resolution and determination

A brutally honest appraisal

Of future prospects

Confessed in enigmatic code

To her willing friend

The pen fierce upon the page

Without restraint

Biting through the paper

The contents then quickly shuttered

And hidden under lock and key

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013

The Cautionary Tale of Tricky Dicky

Tricky Dicky

I’ll tell you a tale of just desserts,

What happens when your morals are blurred,

Of the blackest of deeds and of treachery,

And of what happened to Richard The Third. 

For they’ve finished their investigations,

And excavations that were well tricky,

And now they’ve discovered the full truth:

They’ve found the last resting-place of old Dicky. 

The result of the quest, has been put to the test,

And the scientists have toiled night and day,

But now the news is out, they’ve put it beyond doubt,

And they’ve matched up the old lad’s DNA. 

They didn’t blench, from digging a trench,

And his bones weren’t allowed to fester,

And there they found England’s last Plantagenet,

Under an old car-park in Leicester. 

“Now is the Winter of our discontent,

Made glorious summer by this sun of York”

Were lines written by Shakespeare, and not me.

Frankly – why should I do the rhyming work? 

Now Dick was a disfigured hunchback,

But I’m sure you all knew that, of course,

And he had a lot of other famous lines,

Like “a horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse”. 

Of The House Of York he was the last,

And getting rid of him came at great cost.

He put out folks’ noses, in The War of The Roses,

And at the battle of Bosworth – he lost! 

His place in history, is no sort of mystery,

It’s all facts, you know, not tittle-tattle,

For the end of this terrible dynasty,

He was the last English king to die in battle. 

Now, it wasn’t the normal done thing, to bury a king,

Without due ceremony and honour,

But Richard were such an awful bugger,

Everyone cheered when he were a goner. 

He were a nasty sort, and no mistake,

He’d do anything to get into power.

He were devious and he told many lies,

Oh – and he murdered the Princes in The Tower. 

He didn’t care much for his own people;

On the nation there was misery piled.

A monarch they were glad to see the back of,

Nobody loved him – in fact he were reviled. 

So there’ no surprise in a hole he was found,

After all of the bad things that occurred,

It’s a sorry story that’s all evil and dark,

In this terrible tale of Richard the Third.

 

 

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 3rd February 2013

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – 3^rd February 2013

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:

·       Details of the exact routing of Phase 2 of the High Speed Tractor routes (HST2) have been revealed by central government, provoking widespread debate in the village as to whether this will create an East/ West divide.  New lanes are envisaged for Bromham International Airport and the Council rubbish tip, but there is to be no link out towards that bendy tree on Lovers’ Lane.  The new routes are not expected to be created until 2040, long after most people have even ceased to care.

·       Troops fighting on behalf of the Bromham Parish Council have fought their way through to the northern stronghold of Seend, taking the village without encountering major armed resistance from the rebels.  It is thought that the insurgents have chosen to melt away into the surrounding countryside, and to regroup later when the Bromham forces are finally withdrawn.  In a surprise visit to rally the morale of the troops, the leader of Bromham Parish Council, Dave Wentwrong, was carried shoulder-high amid cheering Seend citizens.

·       For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013

Black-eyed Bean Curry

Recipe for: CURRIED BLACK-EYED PEAS/ BEANS 

Ingredients: 

• 4 tblsp sunflower oil
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 tsp cumin seeds
• 2 green chillies, slit & left whole
• 1 medium onion, peeled & chopped
• 17g fresh ginger, peeled
• 5 cloves garlic, peeled
• ½ tsp turmeric
• ½ tsp chilli powder
• 1 tblsp ground coriander
• 1 tsp garam masala
• Salt, to taste
• 3 large tomatoes, pureed
• 2 tins black-eyed peas/ beans, drained & rinsed
• Handful fresh coriander leaves & stalks, chopped

Method:

1. heat oil, add bay leaves & cumin seeds & fry till they sizzle – 30 seconds
2. add green chillies & onions, cooking until well browned
3. meanwhile, using a blender, make a paste of the ginger & garlic with a splash of water
4. stir the paste into the mixture in the pan, and cook for a couple of minutes
5. add the powdered spices & salt, and cook for another 30 seconds
6. add the tomatoes, cooking over a medium heat until the oil in the masala begins to separate – about 12 to 15 minutes
7. add the peas/ beans & mix well
8. cook for 2 minutes, then add 250ml water
9. bring to the boil & simmer for 8-10 minutes
10. remove 2 tblsp of the beans from the gravy, mash well, then stir back in
11. stir in the fresh coriander & serve

What else you need to know: 

1. comforting & chunky in flavour
2. freezes well

Wren

Wren

How is it possible

For such a tiny frame

To hold a beating heart

The quivering lungs

And all the body parts

Enough to survive

And endure the hard cold of winter? 

And what is the source

Of the courage of this little creature

A pert and perky thing

That cannot weigh an ounce

And yet has wits enough

To defy the cruel odds

Of an enormous world? 

And how quick must one be

To see the flash

Of bright and beady eyes

Aside a head so small

That twitches on alert?

Or the feathers and feet

That flit and flicker

In a sudden blur of movement

Before taking wing

To a safer place?

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013