Cheesy Vegetable & Pasta Bake

Recipe for: PASTA – CHEESY BROCCOLI/ CAULIFLOWER BAKE

Ingredients:

·        1 litre milk

·        2 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed

·        2 bay leaves

·        500g/ 1ld 2 oz dried pasta (penne, macaroni etc)

·        350g broccoli and/ or cauli florets

·        75g/ 2 ½ oz butter

·        75g 2 ½ oz plain flour

·        Pinch white pepper and/ or freshly grated nutmeg

·        1 tsp mustard powder

·        Small bunch parsley, roughly chopped

·        200g grated cheese (cheddar, gruyere, parmesan or a mix)

Method:

1.      Cook the pasta in salted water according to pack instructions, adding the veg florets for the last couple of minutes

2.      Drain and reserve

3.      Meanwhile heat the milk with the bay leaves and garlic until hot, and leave to infuse

4.      In a large clean pan heat the butter until foaming, then add the flour and stir well

5.      Cook for one minute then gradually add the infused milk through a sieve

6.      Whisk/ stir constantly to make a smooth white sauce

7.      Remove from the heat and stir in the white pepper/ nutmeg, mustard powder, parsley and three quarters of the cheese.  Season.

8.      Stir in the reserved pasta and vegetable florets, mixing thoroughly

9.      Decant the mixture into a large (or several small) oven-proof dish

10.   Allow to cool slightly before scattering on the remaining cheese

11.   Meanwhile heat the grill to very high

12.   When hot grill the dish for 2-3 minutes until golden and bubbling

What else you need to know:

1.      You can make a large batch, then decant some into foil containers and freeze

2.      If frozen, defrost in fridge overnight before re-heating in a hot oven for 30-40 minutes

3.      You can make the topping even better by including some fresh breadcrumbs, extra parmesan and herbs to make a crunchy texture

Sex Toy

Sex Toy

I’ve been hunted down by a cougar:

Compared to her I’m nothing but a boy.

She’s an older woman with libido,

Now that I’ve become Nancy’s sex toy.

That woman’s fierce and relentless,

And she never seems to tire.

At nights she keeps me prisoner -

I’ve become her object of desire

I’ve told her I’m too old for this game,

In between my wheezes and puffs,

But she just smiles back at me sweetly,

And whips out the pink furry hand-cuffs.

I mean – it’s tiring for an old guy like me,

A weak excuse it’s got to be said,

But it’s pretty difficult to argue,

When she’s got me chained to the bed.

She’s got this amazing repertoire of tricks,

That reduces us both to wrecks.

There’s nothing she draws the line at,

In her pursuit of over-age sex.

I do what I can to satisfy her urges,

And I’m not trying to be coy,

But it’s really quite kinky,

What she does with my winkie,

Since I’ve become Nancy’s sex-toy.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019

Vegas

Vegas

Across an open trackless waste of nothing, big emptiness of sand and grit

bare, featureless but for random rocks, burned-brown mineral wilderness

tinted yellows, golden ochres, burnished reds

small, sharp shadows etched into the earth by a relentless sun that scorches,

torches out its solar energy, unchanging, fierce and blazing

crumbled endless horizon, heat-hazed beyond the cactus-pocked wasteland,

desert spikes the only landmarks in the monotonous sprawl

fit for snakes and scorpions, bleached-white bones scoured and scrubbed,

sand-blasted testament to creatures that once expired, fried alive, tired and shrivelled

beaten by heat and thirst, exhausted years before

in vain attempts to cross the arid expanse

the dust eddies and whorls aimlessly

tormented, driven by staccato wisps of wind, mindless in their rolling, roiling,

un-tamed in their blowing, drifting, piling, through the thin air of nothingness

scraping, scratching all before them, hot-raked, roasted, parched and toasted

in this waterless wasteland of nowhere

and the vast-canvas painted azure mid-day sky a painful, brittle, acid-hard mono-blue

shimmers unending, clear and cloudless, oxygen-free and static-loaded

an all-embracing carapace of glare mantling over distant concrete structures

The Strip, Caesar’s Palace and Luxor, white and crimson neon ads rolling
enticing punters from hot sidewalks to step inside their cool and dark interiors

for cold beers, slots and tables, the flimsy-dressed hostesses shivering

in the chill of dam-powered air-conditioning

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019

Menage A Trois

Menage A Trois

I’ve always fancied a “menage a trois”

(That would mean two others plus me),

But what is the right combination

Of the two sexes required to be?

Of another man I might become jealous,

And the woman would always be tired.

Two men are bound to be competitive,

For which one of us the woman desired.

Two women and I’d be caught in the middle,

Then again that might not be a bad thing,

Although I’d be the one that was exhausted,

No – the alarm bells are starting to ring!

Perhaps such an arrangement isn’t for me?

Three in a bed and you’re never alone!

No – scrub that one for an idea -

I think I’m better off on my own!

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019

Drivel From Devizes - Dateline Sunday 3rd March 2019

Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 3^rd March 2019

Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:

1.      Spirits soared in The Vize this week as its citizens proudly watched the lift-off of the county’s first privately-financed milk-cart.  Although only “piloted” by a dummy (although some people think that Mr Hugh Jarse should not be referred to in that way) during its test run from Potterne to the town centre, it is hoped that manned journeys will be undertaken shortly.  If all goes to plan, crates of the bottled white stuff should be delivered to shops in a matter of weeks.  “A small journey for a milk-cart, but a giant leap forward for local dairy farmers,” declared a spokes-person.

2.     And mystery still surrounds the abrupt and expected end to the demilitarisation talks between the town and the communist state of Trowvegas.  D-Town’s mayor declared that “they wanted us to drop all economic sanctions against them, and we were not prepared to do that.  Sometimes you just have to walk away.  But we walked away in a friendly way.”  The early conclusion of talks meant that the Trowvegas delegation had to make its way home on an earlier armoured 49 bus service.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019

It's Complicated

It’s Complicated

Ernest courted Mary for many a day,

But I’m not telling it strictly right,

As it was Mary that courted Ernest,

For commitment gave him a fright.

The two walked out for many a month,

But Ernest never asked her to wed,

So Mary, becoming impatient,

Turned to Ernest and imploringly said:

“You’ve been avoiding my family,

And you’ve not met any of them yet.

Why don’t you come and meet mother?

I think it’s time the two of you met.”

So Ernest said he would, but didn’t mean it,

For he’d heard all about mothers-in-law.

He was sure if he met the old lady,

She’d soon point out in him every flaw.

So he’d walk Mary up to her house,

Always refusing to come in for some tea,

Then he’d give her a quick peck on the cheek,

Before turning on his heel to flee.

Then one day the lovers were out walking,

And bumped into a young girl passing by,

“At last! You get to meet my step-mother!

Didn’t you know that she’s younger than I?”

Ernest was thus introduced to this beauty.

He was overcome and soon lost his head,

In fact he preferred her to Mary,

And presently married her instead.

Now his mother-in-law is his wife,

And his ex-fiancée is his step-daughter:

You see-  I told you it was complicated,

When men don’t behave like they oughter!

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019

Audrey's New Man

Audrey’s New Man

Apparently, Audrey’s got a new man:

She met him via internet dating.

For she’s been far too long on her own,

And it’s time that she got back into mating.

On good authority he’s a nice bloke,

Quite chatty and easily amused,

Only one previous relationship,

Almost new, because he’s hardly been used.

So - not much renovation to be done,

And little reconstruction needed.

He’s almost ready to be moved in with,

And there are no warnings to be heeded.

Yes, Audrey’s very pleased with her new man:

I hope that this time she’s going to be happy.

She’s a bit of a man-eater to be honest -

No-one knows what became of her last chappy!

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019