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Sunday, 15 April 2012

News From Bromham Dateline Sunday 15th April


Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – 15th April 2012
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
·         Ted Willeybanned, leader of the Carrot Rooters’ Action Party (CRAP) was reduced to tears on Thursday whilst watching a recording of what voters in Bromham thought of him.  Comments such as “atrocious”, “terrible” and “unbelievable” were met with a stoney stare, but the comment that really brought on the waterworks was one punter who, when asked about Willeybanned, said “who??”
·         Services were held in Bromham Parish Church today to commemorate all those who lost their lives in the great mangel-wurzel disaster exactly one hundred years ago.  The giant vegetable hopper, nick-named Gigantic, pulled by a large team of horses, and rumoured to be untippable, fell over whilst fully loaded, and broke up in less than two hours.
·         The Parish Council is being put under pressure to reconsider its decision to put a cap on the amount of parish relief that can be claimed on donations of carrots to charity in any one tax year.  Recipients of such largesse are worried that donors may decide to reduce the amount of carrots that they give to charity or, even worse, switch their giving to turnips.
·         For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012

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