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Sunday, 20 May 2012

News From Bromham - dateline Sunday 20th May 2012

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – 20th May 2012

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
·         Excitement rose to fever pitch in Bromham yesterday, when the 2012 Carnival Flame arrived by bicycle at the edge of the parish.  In a dramatic and tearful handover ceremony at the footpath finger-post, the official candle-in-a-jam-jar was passed from Sid “Bonkers” Piglet to one of his many half-cousins, Albert “Nutcase” Piglet.  He then walked the five hundred yards to the High Street, during which time the entire population of the parish had been within one mile of the flame.  Arriving at journey’s end, the candle was extinguished and put away for the next two months until the Carnival actually starts.

·         Parish leaders have gathered in a secret bunker location, rumoured to be the back bar of the Social Club, to discuss the local economic situation, dubbed W8.  Security is tight and local press have not been allowed into the discussions.  However, a number of headless chickens have been found wandering around the vicinity of the talks.

·         Sport:  in a dramatic penalty shoot-out last night under-dogs Bromham Casuals came from behind to beat Bayern Bradford-on-Avon on penalties to win the West Wiltshire Layabouts Cup.  This is the first time in the last seven years that a team starting with the letter “B” and having the word “Casuals” in the name has won a trophy against another team also starting with the letter “B”.  This is the magic of football – that records such as these are continually being broken in the modern era.  A victory parade by the winning team, atop a decorated tractor-trailer, planned for this afternoon, has been cancelled amid fears of widespread apathy in the parish.  Casuals’ manager Benny Dogleash was not available for comment.

·         For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012

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