Would Jubilee've It?

Would Jubilee've It?

They just don’t seem to get anything right:

Everything they do seems to be wrong -

We nearly drowned in that drought last month -

Then a Bank Holiday that’s four days too long. 

This enforced jubilation and jollity

Seems quite over the top to me,

But I’ve had to join in, like the rest of you,

To celebrate HMQ’s diamond Jubilee. 

I’m as patriotic as the next man;

I’ve got all the bunting and flags,

But when you’ve been waving for four days,

You find the excitement just drags. 

I wanted to go down the Embankment,

On the Thames to see the regatta,

But I just watched it on TV instead,

I couldn’t see that it would matter. 

I was down there with them in spirit,

Fighting for their own place in the queue,

Getting all cold, wet and uncomfy,

As they waved their red, white and blue. 

I couldn’t see the point of getting frozen,

Standing there like you do,

And another thing bothered me –

Where do they all go to the loo? 

I’m fed up with Coronation Chicken,

The buns, the cakes and the smarties;

I can’t eat another sausage roll,

And I’ve had enough of street parties. 

Then there was that big concert:

You know I really wanted to go -

There was McCartney and Madness,

But notice that Prince chose not to show! 

They said it was a bladder infection,

That kept old Prince Philip away,

But I reckon he’d just had enough,

And he couldn’t stand another day. 

But the Queen coasted through it serene:

She carried on with her toils,

Holding up her end of the monarchy,

Supporting a cast of minor royals. 

It’s quite a remarkable family,

Somewhat dysfunctional of late,

But now they’ve got a new flagship,

The new brand-name of “Will and Kate”. 

Anyway – that was my diamond Jubilee,

I ended up all tired and vexed,

But one positive thing to think of –

It’s at least five years to the next!

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012