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Sunday, 19 August 2012

News from Bromham - Dateline Sunday 19th August 2012


Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – 19th August 2012
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
·         Bromham Parish Council have decided to give diplomatic asylum to Hugh Jarse, who is facing extradition proceedings to Seend to face serious charges of cabbage smuggling, and an unspecified sexual offence with a courgette.  He is resisting deportation on the grounds that he fears further extradition to Trowbridge.

·         Local layabout, Evan Piglet, has been castigated again by local people after he failed to reveal the whereabouts of the Bromham village sign, which he impetuously buried over thirty years ago in a drunken spree.  Despite several appeals to his better nature, Piglet has refused to co-operate.  It was hoped that he had revealed the location of the missing sign in a sealed letter to his brother, but hopes of this were dashed yesterday when it was pointed out that he can neither read nor write.

·         After a long summer during which absolutely nothing has been happening on the sporting scene, the West Wiltshire Germolene League kicked off yesterday.  Bromham Casuals began their campaign in traditional manner by going down 3-1 away at Heddington Hecklers, with star striker Dwayne Mooney, as usual, being sent off in the 30th minute for ungentlemanly conduct.

·         For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012

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