Insomnia

Insomnia

Twisting, tossing, turning,

Side to side, over and over

Chasing round the bed

Fighting to find perfect position

Moving, itching, fidgeting

Exhausted and desperate to fall

Into the deep abyss

Where the deep nothingness starts

And the conscious goes amiss

Too hot, too cold, never quite right

No ticking-tock of the clock

Minutes and hours crawl by

Moments only creeping

As if Time could have stopped

Sharp, red digits stand still

How slowly they change, from one to another

But remain, implacable

The mind chases off down rabbit-holes

Following tunnels and corridors

Leading nowhere

Floating, wandering

Falling, never hitting bottom

Past cliff-faces rocky and steep

Never reaching, never getting there

Too active even to count sheep

Night-time has a denseness

An unchanging, unyielding quality

Never ending, giving nothing in return

Silent, dark, impenetrably deep

Eyes and body both yearn and ache

Pursuing elusive snatches of sleep

The brain keeps rattling on

Chuntering, chattering

An ever-running engine

Ticking over, never stalling

Too busy, too many things to do

Names to remember

Tasks that are calling

Slowing down finally, it seems

To a new steady rhythm, a gentle quiet

Regular heartbeat, softer breathing

Heading at last toward dreams

Then suddenly racing and speeding again                                                

Around the next corner, solving another puzzle

Remembering names, thinking about tomorrow

Tired, so desperately tired

Another tangle of blankets and sheets

Fighting the covers, thrashing around

Gasping and grasping for rest

Snatching at hope after hope

That somehow the torment will end

Then, quite suddenly, an alarm ringing

New light coming in, a Dawn Chorus of singing

Night, it seems, has been stolen away

And bedraggled, be-drowsled

Not calm, not even rested

Head still aching and throbbing

It’s time to start the next day

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013