Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 11th August 2013
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
Engineers have been struggling all week to deal
with a major blockage in the Bromham sewerage system. Deep underground, near the High Street, a
giant Carrot-berg had become lodged in a narrow part of the Victorian
pipework. “If we had not managed to
break it up, using sophisticated cutting technology, vegetable matter could
have backed up through the entire system,” commented Alfred Piglet, Senior Sewage
Engineer. “If only people would be more
thoughtful about the type of refuse they flush down their toilets, this sort of
thing would not happen. This is the
worst incident we have had since the Great Parsnip Blockage of 1963.”
2.
Protests
have continued across the Parish at plans by the evil global corporation
PIgletCorp to continue exploratory drilling for deposits of treacle. The controversial process, known as
Crackling, involves pumping in huge amounts of publicity, mixed with
spin-doctoring and weasel-words to force the treacle up the surface, where it
can be collected in lagoons. Local residents
have objected strongly, and have formed a human chain across the entrance to
the phone-box on the High Street.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2013
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