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Sunday, 8 December 2013

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 8th December 2013

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – Sunday 8th December 2013

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:

1.       The village has been in mourning since Thursday, when one of the founding spirits of our community passed away.  The current leader of the Parish Council, Dave Wentwong spoke movingly of the debt that we all owed to the man, but chose not to refer to the debt that the man still owed on his account at the village shop.  “Nelson ‘Mandible’ Piglet was a legend in his own lunchtime.  The villagers have lost a father figure, the community as a whole have lost a pain the arse.”  The coming week has been set aside as a period of quiet reflection, with a grand funeral planned to be held at the Parish Church of St Knickerless next Sunday.

2.       Meanwhile howls of protest have been raised by the unexpected news that the Parish Council has awarded itself an inflation-busting 11% pay rise. Ted Willeybanned, leader of the opposition Carrot-Rooters’ Action Party (CRAP) made a pretence of denouncing the decision, but saw fit to observe that the villagers truly were all in it together.

3.       For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.


Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013

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