Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 11th May 2014
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
The Bromham-Vision Song Contest was won last
night by a one-eyed transvestite toilet-cleaner from Seend, who swept to
victory on the back of tactical voting by Wiltshire’s outer provinces, thus
denying the Bromham super-group, The Piglet Sisters, what would have been a
much worthier victory.
2.
A whole series of Bromham personalities from the
70s and 80s have been up in court this week, facing a range of sexual offences
including goat-nadgering, floodlit horse-massage and attempted rape with a carrot. Many of the vegetables’ families were in
court to hear the charges being read out, and one parsnip was seen to leave the
building in tears. The cases continue.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2014
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