Royal Visit

Royal Visit

The earliest of starts

To make sure that everyone is on time

With hurried diagonal parking

In the designated distant spot

And the long, hurried walk to the venue

Through the exclusion zone

With its lines of security

The checking of passes

Invitations and identities

To gather with the hoi-polloi

In best bib and tucker

Dressed up to the nines

Whilst pretending not to have made the slightest effort

Men in shiny suits and tightening ties

Women in frocks and high hair-dos

The Lord Mayor in his chain of office

The councillors and dignitaries

Getting hot under their collars

Who pretend not to want to be there

But ready to push to the front when the time comes

And the long, long standing around

Making laboured small-talk

With groups of gathered strangers

Waiting for the clock-hands to creep round

To the long-appointed time

Picking out the obvious security men

With their nervous tight faces, darting eyes

Short haircuts and thick necks

The wires from their walkie-talkies

Curling into the back of their ears

And the smells of fresh paint

Cleaning fluids and laundry

Floating on the air in a floral bouquet

A pre-prepared agenda

A palace-approved programme

The timings down to the minute

In a carefully-choreographed series

Of moves, visits, walks and chats

Through the venue, past the people

And groups of obligatory children

Then a flurry of arrival activity

Sweeping her in and through the doorway

A small head buried within the huddle

An entourage descending

Heads nodding and bobbing

Murmured questions and answers

And the forced amusement of the moment

A flash of a smile and some hair

Between the bodies that surround her

The party moving inexorably forward

In line with the timetable

Orchestrated and organised

Through displays and demonstrations

Exhibitions and presentations

Chatting and stopping

Stopping and chatting

And then she is upon us

Presented to the group

A hand held out limply

For taking and shaking

The couple of questions

Feigning interest in the responses

Ma’am rhyming with jam

Tweedy twin-set and pearls

Bad hair and teeth at close quarters

Before being urged gently forward

By the lady-in-waiting, a hand upon her elbow

Towards the final station of the tour

The speeches and spouting

And the unveiling of another plaque

That will soon replace its predecessor

Inscribed at great expense

By a guilded local craftsman

Using certified recycled materials

And time-honoured traditional skills

Before being whisked away again

Towards the next appointment

In another market town

The special cakes left un-eaten

And the tea and coffee undrunk

Which the rest of us may now fall upon

Before drifting back to our normal lives

 Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2014