The Death Of The Quango

The Death Of The QUANGO

I want to bring to your attention

Something that’s very hard to relate,

For we’re about to lose something precious,

Something we all love to hate.

It’s a beast that’s been around a long time,

And has long lived on these shores,

But if we don’t act and do something,

We’re about to see it no more.

It’s been hunted for its precious flesh,

For it has a body of distinction.

But the numbers are starting to dwindle,

And the precious beast is facing extinction.

It’s covered in a beautiful plumage,

And has a rich varied diet,

But its habitat is now shrinking:

I’m sure you wouldn’t like to try it.

Years ago there were thousands:

It was found in all walks of life.

But now it’s becoming endangered,

And runs in fear of its life.

Yes, the Commission for Orange Juice Quality,

And the Advisory Board for The Colour Brown,

Are both up against the wall

And about to be run out of town.

The Office for English Sea Shanties,

And The Council For The Protection Of Folk,

Are being prepared for the bullet,

And I’m afraid it isn’t a joke.

The Chocolate Fondue Set Equality Partnership,

And the Old Raffle Sellers’ Board

Cannot be lost to the nation,

Nor be allowed to be put to the sword.

Where would we be without the Inspectorate For Choruses,

Or the Office of Musical Strife?

We can’t carry on in this vacuum,

And expect just to lead normal lives.

Don’t we still need the Candle-Length Standards Board

And the Old Guitar Players’ Trust?

They’re all vital to our enjoyment

And keep them all we must!

How can we allow these poor creatures to die?

How can we let this thing come to pass?

Don’t we need them to flourish

Rather than let them all crash?

You may think that there’s plenty QUANGOs around,

A fact I’d like to dispute.

At the last organised count-up,

Numbers had gone right down the chute.

 And now there’s to be an authorised cull,

And a bonfire to burn up the dying.

I can’t see how they are going to save money,

But you can hardly blame them for trying.

For the QUANGO is a much misunderstood beast,

Not often seen in the light.

It hides itself away quietly,

Creeping about mostly at night.

It may cost a lot to preserve it,

But we really ought to give it a try.

For if we lose the last QUANGO,

We’ll always be wondering why

We didn’t do some more to preserve it,

Just hold back one or two,

To give our children something to stare at,

Or at least to keep one in a zoo.

So if you want to keep one of these creatures,

Please send some money today.

Mark the envelope “Keep The QUANGO”

Don’t let them all just…..fade away.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2014