Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 7th February 2016
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. It
has been determined by Bromham Crown Court that a golden retriever dog, lost by
its owners over forty years ago is probably dead. The dog, which had been lost
several times, and on various occasions: run over by tractors twice, caught in
a baling machine, gored by a bull, trampled by cattle, fell into a pond and had
to be rescued, and got trapped in a drain -was known to villagers as “Lucky”. The owners, who say that they now feel that
they can “move on” and “get their lives back together”, are thought to be
considering a hamster as their next pet.
2. Dave
Wentwrong, leader of the Parish Council, has returned from several rounds of
tough negotiations around the whole of Wiltshire, bearing a scrap of paper
which, he claims, will solve all of Bromham’s problems for centuries to come. ‘I have in my hand a piece of paper’ he
said. It apparently contains concessions
which will allow Bromham to run its own tractors, to exclude non-Bromham
tractors at will, and to apply an emergency brake to any runaway tractors which
it finds. Furthermore, such tractors
will not be allowed to be repaired with old socks and baler twine for a period
of at least four years.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2016
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