Search This Blog

Sunday, 7 February 2016

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 7th February 2016

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – Sunday 7th February 2016
                                             
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:

1.       It has been determined by Bromham Crown Court that a golden retriever dog, lost by its owners over forty years ago is probably dead. The dog, which had been lost several times, and on various occasions: run over by tractors twice, caught in a baling machine, gored by a bull, trampled by cattle, fell into a pond and had to be rescued, and got trapped in a drain -was known to villagers as “Lucky”.  The owners, who say that they now feel that they can “move on” and “get their lives back together”, are thought to be considering a hamster as their next pet.

2.       Dave Wentwrong, leader of the Parish Council, has returned from several rounds of tough negotiations around the whole of Wiltshire, bearing a scrap of paper which, he claims, will solve all of Bromham’s problems for centuries to come.  ‘I have in my hand a piece of paper’ he said.  It apparently contains concessions which will allow Bromham to run its own tractors, to exclude non-Bromham tractors at will, and to apply an emergency brake to any runaway tractors which it finds.  Furthermore, such tractors will not be allowed to be repaired with old socks and baler twine for a period of at least four years.

3.       For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.


Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2016

No comments: