Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 12th March 2017
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. Serious
faces in the Parish Council on Thursday when the Treasurer, Phil ‘Spreadsheet’
Hamandeggs, presented his first annual budget to the Council. There were cries of disMay when he announced
that there was only £3.27p on deposit at the Bromham Bank. New spending plans, including the High Speed
Tractor Route (HS2), and the need to save up a bit of cash in case the withdrawal
from Wiltshire Council costs a lot more than everybody had thought, meant that
the self-employed carrot-pickers would have to pay higher tractor taxes. The treasurer explained, despite howls of
anguish from a dog that had got its foot caught in a door, that he was merely levelling
the picking field between the self-employed, the employed, and those random individuals
who just picked a few carrots for their tea when they happened to be walking
past the fields.
2. And
there was outrage on Friday when that woman who lives in the big house on the High
Street officially opened the Memorial to commemorate those who lost their lives
in Parsnip Wars of 1985 and the Brassica Battles of the 1990s. Several members of the bereaved families had
not been invited (a situation described as “absolutely courgettes” by one of
their number). There was also an outbreak
of protesters throwing dirty cauliflower in protest against the presence of the
ex-leader of the Parish Council, Toady Bleugh, a man that many still hold responsible
for sending many local young men to an early death in the picking fields.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2017
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