Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday
3rd September 2017
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Devizes:
1. A
Civic State of Emergency was declared in D-Town this week when the water levels
in the Crammer and the canal rose by nearly three inches. Narrowboat owners were forced to shorten
their ropes, and resident swans and ducks found that they had slightly less
shoreline to play with. Panic was
narrowly avoided when a drain in Maryport Street, which had been briefly
blocked and had overflowed, was cleared by an elderly man wielding his walking
stick. The grass on the The Green was
really quite wet for a while, but is beginning to dry out again now. No families had to be rescued from
rooftops. Whilst some have claimed that
global warming is to blame for these unusual events, more down-to-earth sources
have simply blamed the wet weather.
2. And
from the Sports Desk: Devizes Town’s talismanic striker Dwayne Mooney was in
the news again this week, and for all the wrong reasons. After scoring the winner in last Saturday’s
emotional return to The Field Of Dreams, Mooney announced his immediate
retirement from all future Wiltshire (Germolene League) call-ups, only to be
arrested on Thursday night after being caught drunk in charge of a tricycle on
the canal tow-path. Mooney’s wife,
Dwaynetta, who is expecting their fourteenth child, refused to speak to
reporters as she made her way to the town’s tattoo parlour Lily The Ink. No football results were affected in the
reporting of this story.
3.
For
details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2017
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