Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday
10th September 2017
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Devizes:
1. More
climate change problems for citizens of D-Town as Hurricane Beyonce ripped
through parts of the borough last week.
People out on small rowing boasts on The Crammer said that it had been “a
bit choppy”, a shop-keeper’s sign blew over in Sidmouth Street, and there were
reports of an outhouse door banging in the breeze. Civic forces are on stand-by in case it rains
or gets a bit chilly. People were
advised to “wrap up warm” and to go about their daily business as if nothing
out of the ordinary were happening.
2. And
a minute’s silence was held in the aisles of Poundland yesterday as citzens
struggled to come to terms with their grief after the announcement that walnut
whips are shortly to lose their walnuts.
The new confection, to be known simply as a “Whip” is expected to have
more bite to it, and serve as a punishment for those who struggle with weight
problems. In other news the milk is to
be removed from a Milky Way (which will become A Way), the toffee from Toffee
Crisp (new name A Crisp) and the lions from Lion Bar (new name a Bar).
3.
For
details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2017
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