Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday
5th November 2017
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The
civic corridors of power in D-Town have been shaken this week by a series of
allegations of sexual misconduct against several serving councillors. Theresa Green, leader of the Field
Land-Owners’ Party (FLOP) is said to have touched a horse’s fetlock in 1975. And Jezzer Corny-Bin, head of the Carrot-Rooters’
Action Party (CRAP) is accused of using inappropriate language with a goat on
numerous occasions. A protest meeting is
to be held this coming Tuesday night – meet at the Rolf Harris bench outside
the Jimmy Savile Memorial Hall at 7pm.
2. And
fireworks were very much the order of the day in The Vize’s Supreme Court on Thursday
when pan-Wiltshire arrest warrants were issued for the arrest of the Potterne
Separatists’ leaders Hugh Jarse and Norma Snockers. The couple had briefly fled to the local
fleshpots of Trowvegas, but were not thought to be seeking public sanctuary
there. Having been completely confused
by the infamous one-way system in the town’s centre, they were found in the
wilds of Somerset, rambling incoherently and in a distressed and dishevelled
state. TrowVegas can affect people like
that.
3.
For
details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2017
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