Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday
12th November 2017
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Elections
for the Town Council have been thrown into disarray after it was revealed that
none of the nominated candidates has met the required standard. None has been prosecuted for fiddling their
expenses, none have been charged with sex-pest crimes, and none are known to
have served a criminal sentence at Her Majesty’s Pleasure. One disgruntled resident described the
situation as “disappointing. You come to
expect a certain level of malfeasance amongst our elected representatives, but
this lot don’t even have a parking fine to show for themselves.”
2. And
the leaderene of the Town Council, Theresa Green, had her position described as
being “up The Kennet & Avon Canal without a Patel” after the widely-expected
sacking of the Minister for outer-Vize Development. It was described by the Official Opposition
for Personal Security (OOPS) as “a Priti poor situation”. No comedians
were harmed in the cracking of these jokes.
3.
For
details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2017
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