Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 11th March 2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. A difficult week for the town. Large parts have been in lock-down following
action by the police and emergency services to isolate the areas affected by
poisonous nerve agents. All outlets of
Wadworth brewery, the Greggs pasty shop and the Dodgy Kebab House have been
cordoned off to protect members of the public.
A police spokesperson said “This action has nothing to do with nerve
gas, but we‘ve been waiting for years for a decent excuse to close these
outlets down anyway. We think people
will be grateful.” Hundreds of citizens
continue to have the trots after coming into contact with the noxious
substances at these establishments.
2. Members of the governing party at the Town Hall are
scrambling to prepare for newly-announced peace talks with the insane regime in
Trowvegas. There is all the possibility
of either a complete failure in the talks, or else a major breakthrough. D-Town is insisting that talks will not take
place until Trowvegas first makes more positive moves regarding the 49 bus
service. It is hoped that there will be
an historic agreement to bring in official inspectors on the route, in order to
monitor future fare rises and journey times.
The international community is holding its breath.
3. For details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t
forget to listen to local radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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