Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 22nd July 2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. In common with
the wider Guiding Movement, D-Town’s Brownies and Guides have been waking up to
the possibilities offered by the nearly 200 new “achievement” badges which will
shortly go on offer. Particularly
popular are expected to be badges for: “Waking
Up In The Morning Without Being Shouted Three Times”, “Advanced Sexting”, “Exploiting
The Dark Web For Personal Gain”, “Copping Off With The Boy Next Door” and “Understanding
The Purpose Of Litter Bins”. Lady
Baden-Powell is expected to be spinning in her grave like a rat on a
rotisserie.
2. And after nearly two
months without rain, dried up river-beds and canals, the grass in public spaces
turning from green to browny-yellow, hot burning days with clear blue skies,
and a daily weather forecast of “hot and sunny” running on repeat, citizens of
the The Vize have been taken by complete surprise by the announcement of a
possible hosepipe ban. “We never
expected this!” one shocked resident declared.
“I mean we been saving water for years by not having a bath too often,
but this is ridiculous. I only have a
bath once a month – whether I needs it or not!”
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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