Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 30th September
2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
Citizens
of The Vize were outraged this week when local celebrity Ivor Biggun escaped a motoring
fine due to a legal technicality. Despite
admitting that he had been wilfully cycling the wrong way up a one-way street,
without lights in the dark, and talking on his mobile whilst cycling, Biggun’s
legal representatives from the firm of Grabbit & Runne managed to
demonstrate that he should be discharged on the grounds that he basically didn’t
give a toss. Magistrates reluctantly accepted
his plea and he was acquitted without charge.
2. Meanwhile crowds have
been gathering along both banks of the canal to try and catch a glimpse of a single
fish that has been sighted hundreds of miles away from the sea. “He’s definitely lost,” said one
well-informed local fisherman, who had been angling on the canal for the past
thirty years without catching anything. “A
fish has no business being in all this water.”
Children were hoisted onto the shoulders of their parents to witness “Fishy
McFish-face”, as the doughty creature has been nick-named by no-one.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
No comments:
Post a Comment